You Came To The Wrong Neighborhood, Human
Get the hoof out of here.
It’s a-me, the guy who slept with Ms. Pac-Man.
World’s most useless machine
cat vs. aluminum foil
SOMETIMES!
I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE
Well that escalated quickly
When someone fucks with you on a bad day.
oh my god oh my god
he’s so casual about it too
oh my godddd
(via standup-forthelove)
(via standup-forthelove)

XD So one more thing women should put in their handbags.
(via standup-forthelove)



